mama's ooc
 

for me and a1ice

XD call me 'bastian'


though before i post my reply i will share with you a proper version of your last post, this is where i generally find out if my partner is one i keep<3

red is where i have added, blue is where i have altered, i can explain why if you have any questions, sorry though that this is the only way i know how to help, my grandmother is an english teacher and my mom is ocd(like me) so we are a family of 'do it right or do it over' XD

It seemed like the tent was getting packed. he wondered if there Was were there even that many people in the small town they lived in. Finding it hard to believe that people from the next town would come over just for this circus show, Nick shrugged it off.

Checking his phone, the brunette silently made a small wish hoped the show would start soon. He knew he shouldn't stray from home for too long...

offering you a red-pen correction of your post to test your mettle and see if you are serious about rping(i am very serious about it. i feel it should be as well written as a book from the library)


and it is his name XD i wanted a symbolic name and what better than one that is a summery of the plot?

no worries~ it would suck if i just rp'd with myself these are just guidelines on how to make a more consistent post XD


also, about 5'5 he is the second tallest and is the oldest at what seems to be 18, no facial hair, his hair is; http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UrZuIMQYZt...style-2010.jpg in chestnut and his skin is a little darker than olive, think nut-brown but not from sun. he has gray eyes though at this distance that is not relevant since yours would not be able to see though he has a very large white smile. he is a bit gangly though it is not from malnutrition he is simply thin. he is dressed like an acrobat not a ringmaster though he has the hat and cane and i would think they all have gold in their costumes but the rest can be whatever. his siblings do not all look like him though the littlest sister really did used to be his sister and does look like him

the first act is a dog act, there will be trapeze artists and french clowns and horse-riders, you may gloss or detail what you'd like just know they are all perfect. there are no flaws though by the end there will only be a couple people there. as the show goes on souls are consumed

he has his charms XD though i am sure he is only good looking if you like that sort to begin with hahahaha, i read something once in a fanfic that stuck with me 'she was very cute for a child composed mostly of brown'

look waht i just made too; http://tenchibaka.deviantart.com/art/Forthel-369547400

so i need to write in current tense? crud this will be hard. i need time to reply since i write exclusively in current-past tense


it is generally frowned on to make too many double posts and triple posts are not allowed dear

sweetie, i am having a hard time reading your words

i need it to be consistent so that when i have to go back and reread something it will make sense, if the tense switches out several times within a post it becomes confusing and to have neither of our posts being in the same tense is doubly so

if i say jack goes to the store and gets a package of cookies and a carton of eggs it makes sense to say he is at the store right now
if i say jack gets to the store and got a package of cookies and a carton of eggs it makes sense only until i need to know if he is still at the store or if he has gone already and come back
it is further confused if you say jack get to the store and got cookies and gets a carton of eggs, it is no longer certain if he is getting things now, if he already has gotten things as well as we no longer know how many cookies he has/is gotten/getting

consistency in writing leads to context and without consistency your partner is left guess as to what you meant and that is not good. i do not think it is fair to either of us if we have to spend an hour trying to figure out what has been said or worse, have to just guess and hope we chose correctly


on a side not though, you really need to make sure you are using the correct words, i know it is easy to get words like sense and cents and since mixed up orally but written they throw a sentence into confusion when not spoken aloud, especially when there are several other homophoneal errors to me a sentence with enough errors turns into a captacha

oh good lord X'D i was just asking for a polite way to say i don't think we should rp together and i was told to say 'i am just not feeling it' X''D that is too funny

no, i understand. when we rp i feel like i am correcting my baby sister's homework. i know the right answers to make it into something wonderful but i feel weird stepping on toes to make it happen and i also feel kind of old XD

i am glad you want to play with me and after reading your work i think i know someone for you; http://trisphee.com/forums/member.php?u=3189 you have a similar level and both can write about as well and she is desperate for a good rp. pm her and you can prolly get a good rp or two out of her<3