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-   -   D.K.'s Poems (http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=617)

Demonskid 05-19-2011 03:21 AM

Moment

In times of need
you've shown me no greed
and when I have cried
a part of you died
when ever you saw my tears

In our past
where I'll look last
for a future of
a moment of love
that will wash away our fears

Take one moment
just a moment
and look around
our love is sound
and let out our moments cheers



(It came to me while posting in the games thread ._. Sucky Poems are sucky xD)

Suzerain of Sheol 05-19-2011 08:22 AM

I remember my creative writing teacher giving a rant about untitled poems, but I can't recall most of what he said. I think the gist of it was that it seemed lazy and like the poet didn't care enough about the poem to bother coming up for a title. Take that for what you will, I didn't think it was as big a deal as he was making it out to be, but then, I'm not an "internationally acclaimed poet"... *rolls eyes*

Anyway, if you don't mind me commenting, I think the last line is dragging this one down. It doesn't feel balanced after the first stanza, and if you were to add in two more lines (that rhymed with each other) so it mirrored the first, I think it would read better. As it stands, the last line sort of feels like it comes out of nowhere.

Demonskid 05-21-2011 01:10 PM

Rapture Day

I'm to sexy for your heaven
I'm to sexy for your hell
So I am going to stay on earth
With my sexy little self.

NikkoGallarado 05-21-2011 01:13 PM

I loves your poem since I got to hear it first on skype.

Demonskid 05-21-2011 01:48 PM

Thank you nikko <3

Demonskid 10-26-2011 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suzerain of Sheol (Post 666415)
I remember my creative writing teacher giving a rant about untitled poems, but I can't recall most of what he said. I think the gist of it was that it seemed lazy and like the poet didn't care enough about the poem to bother coming up for a title. Take that for what you will, I didn't think it was as big a deal as he was making it out to be, but then, I'm not an "internationally acclaimed poet"... *rolls eyes*

Anyway, if you don't mind me commenting, I think the last line is dragging this one down. It doesn't feel balanced after the first stanza, and if you were to add in two more lines (that rhymed with each other) so it mirrored the first, I think it would read better. As it stands, the last line sort of feels like it comes out of nowhere.

yea that poem is incomplete xD I'm still working on it (i cant believe i didn't see your post before x.x sorry)

Suzerain of Sheol 10-26-2011 03:47 PM

DK! That post was from like the first week I joined Trisphee! Feels like forever ago, though it hasn't really been that long.

Demonskid 10-26-2011 04:34 PM

I noticed and its why I'm sorry x.x I don't post much in here unless i have insperation xD

that poem.. my muse was poking me with a stick to put it up.. then.. the muse disappeared and.. its been hanging there ._. incomplete..

Curse you Haideto! D< *stabs muse*

SinX_franz 10-27-2011 06:11 PM

Very nice. I like it DK, you have wjat it takes to be a famous poet. though nobody does it anymore nowadays.

Demonskid 11-26-2011 11:05 AM

xD I could imagine myself TRYING to get my work published and yet still starving xp

Sadly not many people like poetry anymore.. At least not enough to support a poet.



AND I finished that Poem! :D I changed the last line and added the last part finally =w= I didn't like it much xD

Demonskid 11-26-2011 12:34 PM

Trisphee's Thanks Giving 2011

Today is the day
to come out and play
all dressed up
and feeling plump
Taddies and gravies

Mens and Ladies
Cookies and Pie
No it's not a lie

I'm surrounded by it all
And I've come to call
All to the table
eat till unable

I'm the Turkey
and I'm Flirty
Come get fat
off of my back

Legs and wings
and all other glazed things
Time to go
take my wish bone

Make your wish
and fill your dish
Sweets and Pies
Are no lie

For I am the Thanks Giving Turkey

Demonskid 11-26-2011 12:44 PM

Tarot

Your future is bleak
very mystic
turn the card
and look far
in to your soul
seek your goal
the spirits are with you
they'll guide you to
the place you need
to become the person you should be

DarkForbidden-Love 11-26-2011 03:21 PM

I find your Thanksgiving poem rather funny. :D Exuse my while I go snicker then comment on the other poem.

And for you tarrot Poem, it is rather a downer. But that I say "Seek your goal" at first as 'seek your gaol' and wondered why you had gone for older English and why the person was seeking a jail. O.O But other then my own reading errors I quite liked it. ;)

Demonskid 11-26-2011 08:51 PM

xD Glad you enjoyed it. I dunno why I made a Thanks Giving one.. I hate Turkeys and Turkey day >o

Demonskid 07-31-2012 08:00 PM

Lethargy Halloween

Halloween is coming

Halloween is here

dont worry my children

there is nothing to fear

Warlocks and Witches

Dead bodies in Ditches

Come over for candy

you'll get something dandy

this is our guild event

you'll leave tired and content


I forgot I had this one.. it was sitting on my DA xD made Oct 09

Demonskid 07-31-2012 08:05 PM

Mom's Birthday Poem.


Blow out your candle
and grab the handle
of the knife
and give a slice

Your Fifty Eight
now have some cake
Now your old
but here I was sold

something you love
from someone above
no longer here
but you hold him so dear

I love you Mom
now eat your damned CAKE!

Happy 58th Birthday


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