[Quiet Man Cometh]

Not sure what I think about this. From the opening I was prepared for something a little less serious, or something that would at least end on a similiar note to the beginning, which felt understated and almost humourous, than the way it did with the focus on the sinister things in the world. That's my initial impression anyway.

On the construction end, you do have a floating sentence in the last paragraph. This one: "Though I couldn’t imagine it ever truly would for the rest of my life, the world seemed real." There's nothing earlier in the paragraph for the "it" to refer too, so it feels disconnected from the rest of the paragraph.

That's really what comes to mind for now. I wish you luck with your submission. :).