[Arsis_von_Neaera]

I enjoyed "wind chill". It does a very good job of effectively creating the imagery. I agree with Suze though. I feel like if you were to incorporate more substance into your poetry, it would greatly add to the imagery you've created. You're very good at creating 'feeling' and using words at creating a perception, but it might help to create more story and background. If "wind chill" is about a pizza delivery, try including some of his story and perception into it.

Dunno though, just thoughts. I really did enjoy the imagery though, of both of the poems on this page. "Tap Shoes" had a little bit more of a story to it, and I think that, again, had it incorporated a little more substance to that story, it would have been fantastic.

Check out the song, "A Tap Dancers Dilemma" by Diablo Swing Orchestra, you'll enjoy it. Your poem reminded me of it.