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Hex
Ghost Writer
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A few of Manda's Random Writings! | #1 | ||
This one is not finished by any means, in fact I just started last night after realizing what I was certain I wanted to do with Victoria's character...it's really rough so don't get too critical but if you see some awful diction please feel free to beat me with a leek.
also the copy paste erased my bold and italicized text...and I am far too lazy to fix it.// Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-10-2012, 04:22 PM |
Hex
Ghost Writer
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#3 | |||
I love you too nova -snarls at the typos- baaah I am too lazy :3 I may show you a poem or two later love bird <3
Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-10-2012, 10:33 PM |
Hex
Ghost Writer
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#5 | |||
This is an old poem I wrote when I was 16ish...it is pretty messed considering my age when I wrote it so don't mind the insanity...very free verse. Enjoy! (again I was 16...shudders)
Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-10-2012, 10:42 PM |
Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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#7 | |||
Manda, just dropping by to say I'm rather impressed with that poem, especially for you being so young when you wrote it. I would love to see more recent work of yours, if you have any/don't mind posting.
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. Between supposed brothers. | ||||
Posted 04-12-2012, 12:34 AM |
#8 |
Hex
Ghost Writer
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oh thank you! I will look through this computer and see if I have anything on it before I go to the journal (I am old fashion and prefer to hand write my poetry)
Who knows maybe I will have something up tomorrow o3o Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-12-2012, 02:04 AM |
Hex
Ghost Writer
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#9 | |||
This one is a little personal and may need some explaining. I wrote it when I thought my fiancee and I were going to separate about 2 weeks ago (we have resolved the issue, but it was a very scary time for me). The poem is a reflection of myself and my inability to control my own emotions and irrational fears...One of which is who I become when I get angry. (My grandpa still calls me little monster when i get angry, I used to throw tantrums as a child)
I hope this helps...its not my best work, but I think it gives some insight into who I am when I get upset... PS I apologize for the double post, while I realize it is not against our TOS it is still annoying sometimes >.> Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-12-2012, 02:20 AM |
#10 |
Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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Hmm... interesting. I'm trying to decide how the split metaphor of war and demons works. I think the poem is just long enough that it does work. The short lines are really effective, it almost makes each one feel like a heartbeat.
The only one that sticks out a little to me is, "ripped their way out of my body" and the first impulse I had on reading it was to cut it to just "ripped their way out" I think that would flow a little better, but, that was just my first thought on reading it. Also, by the way, you're allowed to post more than twice in a row in threads you "own" like this one, especially when you're adding new content. Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. Between supposed brothers. | ||||
Posted 04-12-2012, 01:44 PM |
Hex
Ghost Writer
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#11 | |||
Oh thank you! I think you may be right about that line, but I am always scared tha the visualization of what happens may be lost when I shorten lines up like that. I worry a lot haha!
I love short lines like that in poetry. I have a few poems that have repeated lines. but they always have some purpose. I like thinking of it as a heartbeat that is nifty! Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-12-2012, 02:21 PM |
Hex
Ghost Writer
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#13 | |||
Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-13-2012, 11:54 PM |
#14 |
Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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I'm reminded of my poetry professor's frustrated demand, "Why is this centered on the page? Why?!?!?!" though... I never quite understood her problem with that. :p
I do wonder whether the selective capitalization is intentional or not, since it lends an interesting effect to the lines which aren't capitalized. I'm also wondering about the italicized line in the middle. I feel like it could function as the fulcrum of the poem, but the second half doesn't seem to quite diverge from the tone of the first half enough to work for that, and I'm not sure that's really what you were trying to achieve here, so feel free to ignore my aimless speculation. :p Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. Between supposed brothers. | ||||
Posted 04-14-2012, 02:33 PM |
Hex
Ghost Writer
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#15 | |||
The poem is supposed to feel like it happens in one breathe. Like an inner argument. The italicized sentence in the middle was supposed the be almost like a break in the breath (like a short winded gasp I suppose) also I selectively capitalize all the time. In this poem the selective caps are phrases that are spoken a little louder...or a little angrier I suppose would be a good phrase XD
The centering is because I think the spoiler Icon looks better centered XD Formerly known as MandaChaos. I am back and so happy to be here. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” Mahatma Gandhi | ||||
Posted 04-14-2012, 08:43 PM |
#16 |
Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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Well, that makes it even more interesting to read. :p
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. Between supposed brothers. | ||||
Posted 04-14-2012, 08:56 PM |
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