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Coda
Developer
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#81 | |||
I don't understand how I can know someone for almost 30 years and have them turn out to be such a jerk...
Games by Coda (updated 4/15/2024 - New game: Call of Aether)
Art by Coda (updated 8/25/2022 - beatBitten and All-Nighter Simulator) Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post) | ||||
Posted 05-19-2017, 11:21 PM |
#82 |
Espy
Wanderer
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aaaaand here i am again. seriously, self, why can't you just get through undergrad. it's been five fucking years. brain, stop doing the dumb and get it the fuck together.
and is it so weird to want this much personal space in any potential relationship? are all the people who are interested in me, actually that clingy, or is it just me? is what i'm even slightly interested in, a romantic relationship at all? why is being more-or-less ace/aro so difficult and difficult to explain in today's society. STONEWALL WAS A RIOT | ||||
Posted 05-20-2017, 02:23 AM |
Potironette
petite fantaisiste
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#83 | |||
Last edited by Potironette; 05-21-2017 at 10:22 PM.
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Posted 05-21-2017, 02:13 PM |
#84 |
Awen Moonshine
Double Rainbow
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I don't want you anymore... I haven't done for a long time but I just cannot cope anymore... I know I am being selfish but it's time I started some real self care for the first time, but I cannot do that with you in my face every 2 seconds... I cannot do that with you constantly screaming and crying at me, with you constantly demanding so much of me and yet giving nothing back in return... I am not happy here, but I have nowhere else to go... I just want all of this to be gone...
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Posted 06-22-2017, 04:17 AM |
Den
Tattooed & foul-mouthed
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#85 | |||
So, here we are again, with you being incredibly insensitive despite claiming you "Understand" what I'm going through. I'm sorry I'm not Storm, and that I can't control the weather, and thus cannot control when I have a fucking headache. I'm tempted to just drag you to my therapist with no time to make yourself feel presentable, regardless of how that'd make you feel, but I won't. I'm not as much of an asshole as you seem to think I am.
I use She/Her and They/Them pronouns.
Quote:
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Posted 06-24-2017, 12:12 AM |
#86 |
Espy
Wanderer
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Yeah okay fuck y'all fuckers. thanks for putting the reputation of the uni ahead of student's literal lives. fuck you. fuck you for not letting me enjoy the school i was so happy to be accepted into, where i've formed so many wonderful friendships and have a loving support network. fuck you for kicking me out. fuck you for suspending me even though i literally told you i might not make it out alive.
sure, i want to go to another school, find a way to succeed despite the voice in my head telling me it's not my college of choice, despite being home with toxic parents and no face-to-face contact with any of my friends. i want to do it just to spite you. i want to do it just to be able to laugh in your face. i want to do so well that you'll want to make me an honorary graduate, and then i can turn you down because i don't give a rat's ass about the reputation that you worship to the extent of ignoring the suicidality of your students. that's a bad idea. fuck you. i'll do it for myself. i don't need to prove jack shit to you. i just need to prove it to myself. STONEWALL WAS A RIOT
Last edited by Espy; 06-24-2017 at 04:49 AM.
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Posted 06-24-2017, 04:28 AM |
Awen Moonshine
Double Rainbow
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#87 | |||
I really hope this mornings blood tests actually come back with some real answers as to why I am so tired all the time as I really can't carry on like this... If I could I would just up and leave until I could sort myself out but that's not really an option is it? I wish we'd never had the child so I wouldn't be stuck here in this crappy situation....
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Posted 06-28-2017, 09:24 AM |
#88 |
Tsukimiya
nostalgic
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I feel trapped. I work a call center and the company is great but its just overwhelming kissing customers ass back to back. I actually want to do something. I want a real career but its either call center or minimal wage jobs. I guess its my fault for not taking my high school years seriously...
Spent the first two years getting high and spent the last two years fencing stolen trading cards and causing mayhem. Did not care about school and did not care about college. Did not consider my future. | ||||
Posted 06-29-2017, 07:46 PM |
Den
Tattooed & foul-mouthed
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#89 | |||
I'm freaking out a bit now that it's sinking in that I've gotten my disability application submitted.
I use She/Her and They/Them pronouns.
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Posted 06-29-2017, 11:11 PM |
#90 |
Potironette
petite fantaisiste
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Sometimes I think I'm so inadequate I might as well die. Like once my childhood is over I'll have to kiss life goodbye. But I like living, so then I think the world will just have to deal with my inadequate self for a bit longer. Actually it's just college making me think that way--well, college and bad body image but still. It's like all my values don't mesh with the world's or something. Like if life were an rpg, I'd have stats scattered in all the wrong places without a perfect 2/3-stats specialization.
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Posted 07-08-2017, 03:51 PM |
SparX
It's ALIVE
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#91 | |||
I am so sick of this feeling. I am so sick of seeing those around who are supposed to care the most completely ignore me on a daily basis. I am so tired of trying to reach out and engage with others only to have it tossed back in my face as they talk to everyone BUT me. To watch yourself get replaced by others because you just aren't around at the moment. . . I have attempted to show my disdain. I have also attempted to pull back from the situation, truthfully hoping someone would notice and would try to bring me back in. In reality, it shows me the truth I have known all along. I do not belong. It could be on the chat, it could be in person, it can even be here on trisphee sometimes. And the farther along this year gets the more I feel I just need to disappear. Everything goes on fine without me, I have seen it with my own eyes. For weeks I can disappear without even a single person recognizing or acknowledging my absence. Seeing this only drives me deeper into myself, into the black poison of my own self-degrading thoughts. I really just don't know how much more I can take. I don't know how much longer I can be around this, and worse is that THIS is my entire life, from internet to real world. . . there is hardly any difference in the words and actions being said and done, only the faces and voices they are being said and done by.
{MyAnimeList}{My MAL Graph!}{Read manga? Come here!} Currently Questing For: Lil Spoops,Puppet Master, Toamna lantern, Cyber Reaper,Braen's Jacket Have Au and some Runes Buy runes from me! PM for details! | ||||
Posted 08-24-2017, 11:32 AM |
#92 |
SparX
It's ALIVE
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It's the new year. Not only is my body wracked with pain from endo, but I also found out my husband has apparently been talking to a cam girl from snapchat for a few months, and got scammed when he sent her personal items. This all started because I begged him to get into something kinky with me or at least look at other women for us to think about together. So he decided to get premium snapchats of girls. I told him he didn't have to pay for it he can get it for free offline. This was springish. The last response I found was from the end of November.
Instead he tried to talk to her, even asking for her to get on snap or kik. I am not sure how upset to be, and besides this post have told only one person about this situation. We will be married 6 years come February. . . I am more hurt then mad. I am generally an aggressive person, known to possibly fly off the handle at times. I can't even bring myself to cry right now. I already feel terrible about myself and how I look. At best I feel I am average, and have gained 30 lbs more then I have ever been in my life. I hate being in my own skin daily, and here comes this. Is it because I asked for it? Is it because I begged him to go outside of his comfort zone? And how would outside of his comfort zone lead to this? He sent her personal items for fucks sake. . . and he doesn't even know her real name. These past few months have been hard for me mentally and they just seem to get deeper and deeper. Some days it is hard to pull myself out enough to function. . . and now I have to function with this on my mind?. . . {MyAnimeList}{My MAL Graph!}{Read manga? Come here!} Currently Questing For: Lil Spoops,Puppet Master, Toamna lantern, Cyber Reaper,Braen's Jacket Have Au and some Runes Buy runes from me! PM for details! | ||||
Posted 01-02-2018, 01:29 AM |
KittyBeary
A*DIC*TED
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#93 | |||
Quote:
ty bluebird for the art! :D | ||||
Posted 01-02-2018, 02:32 AM |
#94 |
bluebird
A*DIC*TED
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forgive me father for I have sinned.
dec 14 S A U C Y 「art by mdom〠✦✦✦ | ||||
Posted 01-04-2018, 01:13 AM |
BlueInTheShell
Barrel of Monkeys
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#95 | |||
My health is going down rapidly, and I have no real desire to take care of myself. I just kinda wanna wither away because fuck it, why not?
"I just want to come home," said the Astronaut. "So come home," said Ground Control. "ï¼³ï½ ï½ƒï½ï½ï½… hï½ï½ï½…," said the Voice from the Stars. “And he goes around killing people?†said Mort. He shook his head. “There’s no justice.†Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME. | ||||
Posted 01-05-2018, 04:20 PM |
#96 |
SparX
It's ALIVE
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I feel so. . .blank.
I am not here, I am not anywhere. I am unsure if I am existing, or going through motions like a machine. I have attempted to reach out to different people in the past few weeks. Maybe a new perspective would benefit me? But no, rather it shows me a new perspective of how the world is, when no one acknowledges a word. It's quite odd. As of late it seems I can scream and cry and literally plead for help and yet. . .* Yet no one does a thing. They say all you need to do is ask. . . Well I have asked, I have pleaded, I have yelled and yammered until my mental voice cannot scream anymore. If everyone else is struggling to swim, why would I expect them to help me from drowning. . . {MyAnimeList}{My MAL Graph!}{Read manga? Come here!} Currently Questing For: Lil Spoops,Puppet Master, Toamna lantern, Cyber Reaper,Braen's Jacket Have Au and some Runes Buy runes from me! PM for details! | ||||
Posted 01-16-2018, 06:57 PM |
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