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DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#33 | |||
Yeah, the bad thing is I just noticed you. *Bangs head into wall* I keep missing people comments and then I go back and see that someone posted. My fault~
Demon's Song The End Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
Last edited by DarkForbidden-Love; 10-28-2011 at 09:16 PM.
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Posted 10-28-2011, 04:48 PM |
#34 |
Pinkie
Rainbows and stuff
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Very interesting I like
~*~*~*~*~*~ ♥...If you will have me we shall be...♥~*~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*~*~♥ ...Together forever and a day...♥ ~*~*~*~*~*~ | ||||
Posted 10-30-2011, 01:31 PM |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#35 | |||
Much thanks, Pantzer, :)
Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
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Posted 10-30-2011, 04:41 PM |
#36 |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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Forget
Blood And I have absolutly no exuse for this one: Blood Roses Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
Last edited by DarkForbidden-Love; 10-31-2011 at 07:15 PM.
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Posted 10-30-2011, 08:54 PM |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#37 | |||
Murder
One of my more interesting poems written in a style I don't often do. Fear Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
Last edited by DarkForbidden-Love; 11-12-2011 at 11:24 PM.
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Posted 11-12-2011, 07:58 PM |
#38 |
Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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Just a small note: "spectra" is plural. It doesn't work right the way you're using it in "Murder". Either cut the "A" at the beginning of the line or change it to "spectrum". I think I'd personally go with the former.
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. Between supposed brothers. | ||||
Posted 11-12-2011, 09:41 PM |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#39 | |||
I knew something was wrong, could not figure out what. Thanks Suzerain. ;)
Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
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Posted 11-12-2011, 11:24 PM |
#40 |
Quiet Man Cometh
We're all mad here.
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Personally, I think the last two poems are better than what you have so far but that might be my personal taste coming in. Maybe they are just more to my liking. They feel less repetative and a little more intruiging.
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Posted 11-14-2011, 12:21 AM |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#41 | |||
Thanks Quiet. I'm not to particularly fond of them but they are far from my least favorites.
Streets Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
Last edited by DarkForbidden-Love; 11-15-2011 at 07:52 AM.
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Posted 11-14-2011, 09:37 PM |
#42 |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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{Untiltled}
Since most people won't get this imediatly it is written from the prospective of a abuser to their victim. It was a project for class we had to write a piece, whether in prose or poetry, about abuse. I am not privay to an abusers thoughts so I wrote my own ideas down, there is no science behind them and cannot be considered fact. And now one that is actually rather upbeat: Music And yet a third: Gone And I'm not sure what this last thing even is...It might be a poem, it might be a song, or it might be a piece of prose. Or maybe all three. Forever Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
Last edited by DarkForbidden-Love; 11-22-2011 at 09:16 PM.
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Posted 11-17-2011, 06:11 PM |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#43 | |||
Let Go
Give Up Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
Last edited by DarkForbidden-Love; 11-28-2011 at 09:56 PM.
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Posted 11-28-2011, 09:51 PM |
#44 |
Lost_Ninja9213
Hakuna matata
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I personally like them, especially the fire one...as some people have said, there were minor spelling errors and a bit cliche rhetoric, but still cool. i can tell you're getting better though :)
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Posted 12-07-2011, 08:26 PM |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#45 | |||
Thanks, Ninja. I'm trying to get better and fix everything but it is still all a work in progress.
Oh, and by the way, I got another: Street Urchins Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
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Posted 12-07-2011, 09:55 PM |
#46 |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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Updating after a long haitus. Both were originally supposed to be soemthing a bit different but apparently the New Year makes me depressed.
Warning a bit of language in "Human" Human War Spoils Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
Last edited by DarkForbidden-Love; 01-02-2012 at 12:36 PM.
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Posted 01-02-2012, 02:37 AM |
Quiet Man Cometh
We're all mad here.
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#47 | |||
I'm intruiged by "War Spoils" though I think you have some spell checker errors there, "out" instead of "our."
I like the game reference but to call them chips and then refer to a chess game is a little off. "Chips" make me think poker and gambling, but chess doesn't use them. | ||||
Posted 01-02-2012, 04:30 AM |
#48 |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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I changed the 'out' to 'our' I don't know how that was missed.
And the 'chips' is because it was originally " Now our lives are chips, And this is poker, The one with the best mask wins." I didn't like it so I changed the game to chess, but I used pawns in the last line and did not wish to repeat myself. I do suppose I could use 'pieces' though... Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
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Posted 01-02-2012, 08:12 PM |
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