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Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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#17 | |||
Moment
In times of need you've shown me no greed and when I have cried a part of you died when ever you saw my tears In our past where I'll look last for a future of a moment of love that will wash away our fears Take one moment just a moment and look around our love is sound and let out our moments cheers (It came to me while posting in the games thread ._. Sucky Poems are sucky xD)
Last edited by Demonskid; 11-26-2011 at 11:11 AM.
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Posted 05-19-2011, 03:21 AM |
#18 |
Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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I remember my creative writing teacher giving a rant about untitled poems, but I can't recall most of what he said. I think the gist of it was that it seemed lazy and like the poet didn't care enough about the poem to bother coming up for a title. Take that for what you will, I didn't think it was as big a deal as he was making it out to be, but then, I'm not an "internationally acclaimed poet"... *rolls eyes*
Anyway, if you don't mind me commenting, I think the last line is dragging this one down. It doesn't feel balanced after the first stanza, and if you were to add in two more lines (that rhymed with each other) so it mirrored the first, I think it would read better. As it stands, the last line sort of feels like it comes out of nowhere. Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. Between supposed brothers. | ||||
Posted 05-19-2011, 08:22 AM |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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#19 | |||
Rapture Day
I'm to sexy for your heaven I'm to sexy for your hell So I am going to stay on earth With my sexy little self. | ||||
Posted 05-21-2011, 01:10 PM |
#20 |
NikkoGallarado
Capitan Marvelous~!
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I loves your poem since I got to hear it first on skype.
Nikko's Cosplay's,Nikko's Cosplay Cafe, Dapper Dreams Joint Venture Cosplaying: N/A Reyo is my Tropical Mistress ~ <3, Lucid is DELISH and the best nana ever! Is known as Black Japan - Hetalia Nikko is a beautiful prince. ♥ | ||||
Posted 05-21-2011, 01:13 PM |
#22 |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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Quote:
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Posted 10-26-2011, 03:37 PM |
Suzerain of Sheol
Desolation Denizen
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#23 | |||
DK! That post was from like the first week I joined Trisphee! Feels like forever ago, though it hasn't really been that long.
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers. Between supposed brothers. | ||||
Posted 10-26-2011, 03:47 PM |
#24 |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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I noticed and its why I'm sorry x.x I don't post much in here unless i have insperation xD
that poem.. my muse was poking me with a stick to put it up.. then.. the muse disappeared and.. its been hanging there ._. incomplete.. Curse you Haideto! D< *stabs muse* | ||||
Posted 10-26-2011, 04:34 PM |
SinX_franz
*twitch*
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#25 | |||
Very nice. I like it DK, you have wjat it takes to be a famous poet. though nobody does it anymore nowadays.
Delayed Student. Still fighting. Mecha Enthusiast.
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Posted 10-27-2011, 06:11 PM |
#26 |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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xD I could imagine myself TRYING to get my work published and yet still starving xp
Sadly not many people like poetry anymore.. At least not enough to support a poet. AND I finished that Poem! :D I changed the last line and added the last part finally =w= I didn't like it much xD
Last edited by Demonskid; 11-26-2011 at 11:12 AM.
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Posted 11-26-2011, 11:05 AM |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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#27 | |||
Trisphee's Thanks Giving 2011
Today is the day to come out and play all dressed up and feeling plump Taddies and gravies Mens and Ladies Cookies and Pie No it's not a lie I'm surrounded by it all And I've come to call All to the table eat till unable I'm the Turkey and I'm Flirty Come get fat off of my back Legs and wings and all other glazed things Time to go take my wish bone Make your wish and fill your dish Sweets and Pies Are no lie For I am the Thanks Giving Turkey | ||||
Posted 11-26-2011, 12:34 PM |
#28 |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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Tarot
Your future is bleak very mystic turn the card and look far in to your soul seek your goal the spirits are with you they'll guide you to the place you need to become the person you should be | ||||
Posted 11-26-2011, 12:44 PM |
DarkForbidden-Love
Person, what Person?
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#29 | |||
I find your Thanksgiving poem rather funny. :D Exuse my while I go snicker then comment on the other poem.
And for you tarrot Poem, it is rather a downer. But that I say "Seek your goal" at first as 'seek your gaol' and wondered why you had gone for older English and why the person was seeking a jail. O.O But other then my own reading errors I quite liked it. ;) Puppy to Asami Gallagher is Nursy~ Broken Muse is my girlfriend And Ducky is awesome! Quote:
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Posted 11-26-2011, 03:21 PM |
#30 |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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xD Glad you enjoyed it. I dunno why I made a Thanks Giving one.. I hate Turkeys and Turkey day >o
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Posted 11-26-2011, 08:51 PM |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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#31 | |||
Lethargy Halloween
Halloween is coming Halloween is here dont worry my children there is nothing to fear Warlocks and Witches Dead bodies in Ditches Come over for candy you'll get something dandy this is our guild event you'll leave tired and content I forgot I had this one.. it was sitting on my DA xD made Oct 09 | ||||
Posted 07-31-2012, 08:00 PM |
#32 |
Demonskid
Pocket Demon Ninja
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Mom's Birthday Poem.
Blow out your candle and grab the handle of the knife and give a slice Your Fifty Eight now have some cake Now your old but here I was sold something you love from someone above no longer here but you hold him so dear I love you Mom now eat your damned CAKE! Happy 58th Birthday | ||||
Posted 07-31-2012, 08:05 PM |
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