[Gallagher]

How do you cope with phobias when you can't remove yourself from the situation?

[Coda]

Mindfulness and meditation.

While retreating from the source of your phobia brings short-term relief of the anxiety, it doesn't help you deal with it in the long term. True, some phobias are harder to deal with than others. But the best thing for you to do for your mental health in the long run is to practice anti-anxiety techniques, especially when confronted with a phobia you can't escape.

Deep, controlled breathing is the #1 thing to do. It's the foundation that everything else builds upon. One commonly-recommended breathing strategy is called 4-7-8 breathing: breathe in through your nose as you count to four, then start back at one hold the breath in as you count to seven, then start back at one and let the breath out slowly as you count to eight, and repeat this as long as necessary. Your goal is to clear your mind -- but don't try to force yourself to not think of anything; rather, if thoughts come to your mind, acknowledge them and return to concentrating on counting. This helps to combat the stress response in the body and to focus the mind on something other than the source of anxiety.

It helps to reassure yourself that you are in fact safe where you are. Acknowledge that you are afraid ("don't be stupid" is a very bad kind of thought for this) and remind yourself that your body's fear response does not mean that you're in danger. Obviously this is easier for some kinds of phobias than other -- I don't know what your specific phobia is, but it's easier to say "most clowns aren't murderers" than "that giant spider isn't going to hurt me".

Intentionally exposing yourself to your phobia in a controlled, comfortable setting where you CAN retreat when you can't manage the anxiety anymore is a good way to work on this.

The goal isn't to get rid of the phobia entirely or to dismiss it as meaningless. The goal is to establish that you are in control of your self, and that you can continue to function in the presence of the phobia.

[Lawtan]

I tend to utilize something - like music or a game - as a quick way to try to calm down before I enter a known scenario. That achieves a degree of relaxation before entering something like that.

For unknown scenarios, I tend to be okay - in that my fear keeps me attentive and observant, but leads me to crash as soon as the situation is over.

I am not sure of the "reassure yourself you are safe"...but then again, I am paranoid and am never safe in my mind. I more remind myself that if I am in danger, it is best to face it as head on as possible. (Which, for me, means not running away). On the other hand, if the anxiety is more internal, it may help to remind oneself that they are human - a creature with a right to live and though quite fallible, not a monster.

Finally, if the scenario is around folk you know/who care about you, communication may be an excellent way to both acknowledge there is a problem, and gain some support.

[Coda]

Consciously choosing to face the danger is good, too. The important thing is that you make a positive affirmation so that you have made a choice in what you are going to think instead of allowing your fear response to dominate you.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I don't know if I ever had fears that were on par wit actual phobias, but I found that shows of support would often help, as kiddish as it sounds. I hated speaking publicly, or even in just pretending to do it, such as for giving or practicing presentations. I remember in elementary giving a speech on Paul Revere and being so terrified I was physically shaking, and my eyes blurred out to where I axed out chunks of the speech because I couldn't see the page and would just restart where I thought it seemed right. I was near hyperventilating at the end but the whole class clapped for me, and I was already relieved that it was over but I think the show from the class felt to me like they were aware of how much trouble I was having (stuttering as well as shaking) and were okay with it. Kind of a "you did it!" moment.

That stuck with me. In future presentations I just embraced that I was awkward and would state as much at the start of a presentations. It makes it a little less stressful for me because if I mess up I know I've warned them. I also tell people to put their hand up or something if I'm going too fast or saying something awkward and they would like me to be more clear.

[Salone]

It really depends on the phobia and if you can deal with it in a controlled environment, but I tend to face mine by forcing myself in to the deep end of it. For example I wouldn't say I'm on the insanity inducing edge of Trypophibia, but it's definitely unsettling stuff. I smoothed it over by looking up the worst possible images for it until it's completely worn off. Granted, I can do this in an environment where it's just an image and I can stop it any time I want to, so that might not help. Do you mind sharing the type of phobia that you're experiencing?

[Gallagher]

I'm afraid of things coming out of the walls.

When I was younger, this was just one of those random, odd little fears that never really came up, save for getting extra spooked when watching some scary movies. But it's gotten worse in recent years because 1. our house is getting older, and with our income, it's difficult to make repairs we need to. One of our bathrooms doesn't even have a shower anymore, while the other has several holes and gaps in the walls. There are holes in other rooms as well, but not as bad as in the bathroom. 2. We've been dealing with infestations of rats getting into the attic, which has been especially bad in our area this year, and bugs in the walls themselves.

I can't even begin to think of any way to handle this in a controlled manner. I'm not afraid of rats or insects, other than the usual "ew" that anyone would get from unexpected and unwanted pests. I'm not afraid that any harm will come to me because of them, either. I'm just afraid of things coming out of the walls, or worse the ceiling. And it's something that happens with the bugs fairly often, especially after rain, and I live in a very wet area. I can also hear the rats right above my head most every night, and there's a vent positioned right above my bed.

Needless to say, my weird little fear has quickly turned into a full blown phobia. Not an unjustified one I don't think, but it's not a situation that we can fix easily. I have to find a way to deal with it, as unfortunate and uncomfortable as it all is.

[Athilea Majiri]

I forced myself to face the dark to get past my fear of it. I was crazy afraid of the dark, to the point that I would have to practically jump into bed because it felt like a safe place. Especially since my husband was also in it. I just kinda forced myself into very dark areas of our neighborhood when we went for walks and got past it...eventually. It wasn't fun, but it worked.

[Quiet Man Cometh]

I have the same mouse issue but it's not a phobia at all. I just don't want them in my room. I really have no idea how one would approach that. I've put cotton balls with peppermint oil around my room to act as a repellent but that doesn't stop the noises and such, or really settle things.

I used to have issues with my mind running away with things, monsters under the bed for example, and I got around that by continuing my line of thought to a conclusion that didn't scare me. If a monster was crawling up the side of the bed, it was because it was more comfortable to sleep on top of the bed instead of under it. I would imagine this monster thing sneaking up the side of the bed to ball up at the foot and sleep. I could deal with that thought, so I kept imagining that instead of cutting off the crawling monster thought at the start and it did help.

[Alistair Fawkes]

My biggest phobia is heights. When confronted with it I start sweating and shaking; it's pretty irrational. But then that's very definition of a phobia, I guess. Sometimes I feel it really intensely, but other times not so much.

Luckily I don't find myself put in an inescapable situation that agitates this fear too often, but when I do I just admit it to those around me and make light of it, instead of trying to hide it or participate in some grand internal struggle. For me, struggling to rationalize something irrational can be more stressful than the fear itself.

The act of just admitting it makes me feel better, and most people completely understand as it's a fairly common phobia. You may think you sound crazy to others, but hearing yourself say it aloud and laugh about it with company may make a world of difference. A little humor goes a long way in a scary situation.

[littl3chocobo]

it depends. for the most-part i talk. i talk about anything and everything and sometimes i use forceful infliction or i get loud or both. i talk in definites and in a serious tone. i talk and i do not give pauses outside of what i need to keep breathing


the exception is darkness. i have no way to cope with unavoidable darkness and live my life n a manner that does not allow more than a few seconds of darkness at any point

[Tiva]

I cope with my fear of Bridges by forcing myself to drive over them more often. While not talking and if I get stuck on the bridge I start hyperventilating. Especially drawl bridges, I just fear that I am going to get pushed off said bridge and hit the water and drown.

[Zelda]

I have a fear of heights and unfortunately I began going across this metal structure that had water at the bottom and I began telling my friends and right before that I was fine and then all of a sudden, I frozen. I actually could not move, I was paralysed. I said er... guys I actually need help, I cannot move. I was laughing a bit because I found it funny. I was there for about maybe 3-5 minutes and I couldn't go backwards or forwards so I eventually made myself move and crab walked my way to the side. lol

[lovelacedroses]

I am scared of heights and dogs. Any dogs, even the tiny ones that bark way too much. I rarely deal with heights so all is well. I just wish I wasn't so scared of dogs. I'm seriously coming across as anti-animals when I'm just anti-dog. XD I guess that dog bite years ago still impacts me.

[mdom]

I'm super scared of heights, so I try to face my fears gradually... first, a ferris wheel, then a kiddie roller coaster... but usually I just cry |D because I'm a very mature person, perfectly reasonable adult.

[Tsukimiya]

My phobia is ligtning and thunder after a very frightening experience. I live in Tampa bay, lightning capital of the world

As a result I have to get over it and get over it fast. A few years later I am still scared of thunder and lightning but now I don't have panic attacks anymore