[Kaderin Triste]

Awww, I'm sorry Coda. It's never easy losing a furry family member, but to have to deal with it on top of all that other stress...I can't imagine how tough this has to be.

I'll have to do the math again, but I think Shade and Batty turn 10 and 9 this year, respectively. They're still all full of energy and healthy, but it scares me that they might not be around too much longer.

[Biomecha]

Sorry to hear about your kitty Coda.

I just lost my dog a few days ago after 14 years with her, so I can definitely relate.

[Coda]

Well, good news about Hobbes. :3

I took him to his normal vet for a follow-up appointment. The emergency vet had prescribed some heart medication, and it worked fantastically well. His heart rhythm is normal and his breathing is unobstructed.

He's got stage 1 kidney disease and stage 2 gum disease, but the heart disease is the biggest concern, so the fact that the medication will manage it this effectively means that the prognosis is good.

[KittyBeary]

That's wonderful to hear! :D I'm so happy for your kitty!

[Kaderin Triste]

Ugh. Now I look like I'm some racist white chick because I walked along the side of the street to pass an african American guy. But I only did it because he was walking down the middle of the sidewalk and wasn't moving to the side so we could pass without practically bumping into each other and generally being closer than I prefer to be to most people, especially strangers. *sigh*

Omg Hobbes. 10/10 name. Glad he doing better!

[Coda]

He's orange and stripey!

[KittyBeary]

Well, we are supposed to social distance.

People being noisy AF today but they're finally quiet.

[Biomecha]

Not really coping because I can't get used to not having a dog after growing up with several at a time throughout my life. Random noises here and there will make me briefly forget it's not coming from them. They were always by my side, and it's just extremely weird not having that anymore. And then waking up each day, it hits pretty hard all over again remembering they're gone.

[Coda]

I don't know if I can do this. I can't keep up with everything on my plate, but I can't drop anything, either. And I don't have anyone I can ask for help.

Not only do I have new job responsibilities at work, but since the school year has started I've also got to take my son to and from school, which eats 3-4 hours per day thanks to traffic. I had to move this summer (*footnote) so I'm still dealing with taking care of the house -- unpacking, finding places for everything, disposing of stuff I don't need anymore, et cetera. And that's in addition to the usual around-the-house work that has to be done; I'm trying to push my son to do more of that as he gets older, but thanks to his ADHD, keeping him on-task takes longer than just doing it myself. My wife has a chronic pain disorder so she's not well-equipped to take very much off of my plate. And just to make it all better, my son's school schedule and my wife's sleep schedule are super out of sync so it's hard for me to get in a proper night's sleep -- most nights I get 5-6 hours -- so that fatigue just keeps building up.

Really don't know what to do.

(*Footnote: Seems I didn't post about it here? Yeah, I rent my home, and the owner decided to sell the property, so I had to move. But I was still recovering from pandemic-related loss of income, and home availability is crap right now, so it was stupidly stressful. And then the property manager that had been nice for the four years we'd lived there suddenly turned into a jerk. :/ So... not a great time.)

[Den]

so, I caught mom's cold, because she, despite what she claims, doesn't cover her mouth when coughing.

[Coda]

I'm not doing well. I've been struggling a lot the last few days with fatigue, lack of mental focus, and impostor syndrome. I'm trying to keep my spirits up and to remember what I know I'm capable of doing, but it's wearing on me.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Coda

I'm not doing well. I've been struggling a lot the last few days with fatigue, lack of mental focus, and impostor syndrome. I'm trying to keep my spirits up and to remember what I know I'm capable of doing, but it's wearing on me.

I'm not certain how things are going for you now, if things have improved. This is a serious matter and you need to speak with your wife about needing rest. If all else fails, you can schedule 2 days per month to pay under the table for a caregiver to go to your home and care for your family, allowing you to at least get a little more rest than you've been getting. You can also network with parents of other kids at your child's school for ridesharing, that way half of the time you aren't sitting in traffic and it would also help reduce that stress for other parents. I sincerely hope you consider doing something like that. Wishing the best for you. I know how difficult things have been and I commend you for reaching out for help. It's not easy exposing vulnerabilities.

[Coda]

I mean, it might be nice to meet some other parents, but... I dunno, something seems different than when I was that age. There's rarely anything that would have parents in the same place at the same time. Also, my son goes to a magnet school in the next district over, so I wouldn't expect anyone in this area to go to the same school.

But I did talk to my wife. She challenged me to try to put together a schedule to organize my time so I could make sure I had time for everything... but what that revealed is that I actually DON'T have time, if I'm honest with my time and do everything I'm supposed to do -- 8 hours of sleep + 8 hours of work + 3 hours in the car + 1 hour to get my son out of bed and ready for school in the morning + 2 hours to make/eat/clean up from dinner + 1 hour to help my son with schoolwork + time for shower/brushing teeth/feeding cats/cleaning up after cats/getting ready for bed... Assuming I can maintain peak operating condition 100% of the time, this leaves no time to do anything to relax or even to keep up with anything else that comes up. Heaven forbid I have a doctor's appointment...

Once we saw all of this in black and white, she offered to start picking our son up from school. That'll give me back two hours in the afternoons to get work done so I can actually spend time with my family in the evenings.

[Ginger]

I'm really glad she'll be helping out more now. That will help you out tremendously.

As for ridesharing I thought maybe posting a bulletin or suggesting to the school implementing a ridesharing program would be the best way to go. You could also swap every other day with getting your son ready for school and helping with schoolwork. Whoever helps him up in the morning would help him with his schoolwork the next day. Teamwork makes the dream work.

[Kaderin Triste]

Really hate how my dad assumes that because I was free after 6 last Tuesday, I'm clearly going to be free over a week later at the same time so he totally doesn't need to give any notice that he'll be in town and just expect me to drop everything to have dinner so I can listen to his religious, political, and covid related rantings, his complaining about all the other employees in his department (that he hired in the first place), and his raving about how great my siblings are while discussing me and my life in condescending tones over a dinner where he absolutely judges me for how much I eat. (I once ate a whole flatbread pizza because it was...like the size of a small dinner plate and very thin and was the only thing I'd eaten all day and got to listen to his snarky comments about how I shouldn't have eaten so much.)
Like no. Sorry dad, even if I am literally sitting in my apartment, staring at the wall and doing nothing else, you still need to treat me like an adult and assume that I may be busy and maybe actually ask, at the very least 5-8 hours before attempting to show up, if I am busy or not. I would prefer like 48+ hours notice as it takes a lot to mentally prepare for spending time with him, but just showing up and expecting me to be free at the drop of a hat like some child who still lives at home and has no friends is not okay.
And spamming me with calls and text messages and leaving guilt trip messages is not okay. I will not respond any quicker because of your guilt-trip messages or your voicemails that are literally just you hanging up sometimes with the added bonus of a disappointed sigh.

[Biomecha]

Just the overwhelming feeling of no one caring.